Enjoying being able to eat again!

So it really feels like I don't have a band at all. He took out 7.8 ccs. I didn't realize there was that much fluid in there.

One thing I'm really appreciating is being able to eat in a shorter amount of time. If I have to leave in 20 minutes and still need to eat breakfast, I can do it. Before the unfill there was no way! I would have had to take it with me.

I'm not doing so great on food choices right now. Not horrible, but not good.

I think I've gained at least five pounds in the week since he took the fluid out. I'm not surprised. I'm eating at least twice what I was consuming before which wasn't enough.

I'm really enjoying being able to eat things like grapes, oranges, apples with peels, etc. Not that all my choices are that healthy, but I really am glad to be able to eat again.

I know it's going to be a major adjustment to get restriction again. It won't be until July next year at least. That's a long ways off! I am very grateful that I have the band and that it could be adjusted so I could eat. If I had a non-adjustable form of WLS, I would just end up having trouble for the whole nine months. Although it may not have tightened up like the band did. Who knows.

Oh, by the way, my heartburn is completely gone. It was just the band being too tight. Now I know what to look for in the case of an overfill. Not fun.

How do you spell relief?

Wow. I feel amazing. I was able to eat dinner tonight without stopping and breathing deep and saying, "I hurt." It was great. A too-tight band is not my friend!

I won't need to follow up with my surgeon until after the baby is born and I'm ready to get the band filled back up.

Now if I can just keep from gaining oodles of weight with this pregnancy we'll be good to go!

Getting it all out

This week I'm going to see my surgeon and get all the fluid taken out of my band. I haven't been able to eat properly for the last few weeks. The heartburn isn't bothering me right now, but I've been taking Nexium, so that's probably why.

I've had a hard time eating much of anything solid. It's been rough. I do not like being so tight. Two bites and I'm full? Painfully full? Even sometimes drinking plain liquid, (warm tea, or water even) is painful. That's not what the band has been for me. So, I'm just going to go ahead and get the fluid removed. Hopefully that will help with both the acid reflux and not being able to eat.

I've gained about 7-10 pounds. I'm sitting right around 200 on my home scale. Not too bad. It's still hard to see my weight going up.

I've been feeling a bit of depression trying to seep into my life. I know I need to kick it in the butt with good nutrition and exercise. It might take a bit to get there, but I will get on a good schedule again.

Surgeon's Visit

My surgeon's visit was great. He was very happy with how I look and how I'm doing. I was about 200 last time I was there, I've gotten as low as 188 and am back around 200 again. I weighed exactly 200 at his office. (Deep breaths!) But apparently I look different to him, so that's cool.

He said since I'm not having issues with vomiting or extreme band tightness, he'll just leave my fill until my third trimester at which point he'll take all the fluid out. Won't that be weird? I haven't even had to have an unfill yet, so I haven't gone backwards on restriction except for the natural fluctuations in the band and weight loss.

He said one of the biggest issues for pregnant ladies is the port bothering them. Since my port is detached, it should be just fine. He said he has actually removed ports from two pregnant women. One of them he put back in shortly after the baby came and the other one he said decided to just get her band out because 6 months after baby she hadn't put any weight back on. She was confident in her new lifestyle.

Last night I woke up with burning in my throat from acid reflux. I used to have that a lot before my surgery, but it was under control with Nexium. After surgery I was able to stop taking the Nexium. So last night I got up and took a Nexium and drank some Alka Selzer Heartburn Relief. Looks like the surgery helped me with run-of-the-mill heartburn, but maybe not pregnancy-induced heartburn.

I've been so tired I haven't been exercising lately, but with the beautiful weather today (74) I think we're going to have to go for a family walk!

Life is changing

Big news at our house. We've got a baby on the way. We are very excited. This will be child number 4. I'm feeling a little sick, but nothing to complain too much about. I'm a little nervous about weight gain and pregnancy and the band, but we'll get it all figured out. I'll let you know along the way how things are going.

I'm probably due in June. I'll be going to both the band and regular doctors this coming week.

Answering a question

Anonymous said...

Melissa,

How do you get back on track or better yet get started when you don't have the right mind set? What gets you there?

Anyonymous,

I thought I would respond here because you've asked a good question. Getting started for mehappened because I hit my breaking point with being fat. I had enough and realized there wasn't any chance of me losing weight by doing what I'd always done. I had to make a huge change and I did. Because the change I made was so drastic, there was no looking back for me. The decision to have lapband surgery was a decision to live a healthy life for the rest of it. It's not always easy and I do fall sometimes.

Basically it's a daily process of getting back up and dusting myself off. I have realized that I can be healthy, but it takes a constant effort and focus to keep on track. If one day is bad, then the next day has to be better. Sometimes I feel really strong and have several good days in a row. Doing challenges is better helping me to be on track.

But really, you have to see it as a life-long pursuit. There is no going on or off a diet. It's a change you make and it needs to be a permanent one.

I also pray a lot. I pray for strength and determination. It helps.

Hope those words were helpful.

Body For Life begins

We have started the Body For Life program. My sister and husband and I are all doing it together. We started on Monday. I'm thrilled with how this week has gone. I have lost 8 pounds somehow. I think there's definitely been some retained water that I've lost. My husband has stuck with it really well, too. He didn't actually weigh to start with, so I'm not sure what his weight has done.

We have entered a new world of weight lifting! Part of this program has you do weights, three times a week. We did two upper body and one lower body work out. We're like a couple of goofs in the gym trying to figure out which machines do what, looking at the pictures in our Body For Life book, and then trying to figure out what weights are best. I'm glad we live in a small town and have a really low-key gym because I don't really feel conspicuous here. It's really nice.

I really like the aerobics part of this program. You do three days a week of 20 minute aerobic workouts. You workout according to intensity level, scale of 1-10. Whatever fitness level you are at and whatever activity you're doing, will work with this program. You start with two minutes of an intensity level of 5. Then you do a minute each of levels 6-9. You repeat that three times, the last time you get to 9 and then the next minute you go all out and go to 10 for one minute. Then one minute of 5 cool down and you're done. I feel like I'm getting so much more done in a 20 minute workout than I was in 45-60 minutes at a slower pace.

We took before pictures, but didn't take measurements. I think we will probably do those this weekend so we have some way to gauge our progress besides the scale and looks.

Recent pictures

We had a friend take some pictures of us on the way to church on Sunday. Well, the field of sunflowers wasn't exactly on the way to church, but you get the idea.

And the music gets louder. . .

I have been avoiding my blog the last while because I haven't been eating great and I didn't want to post about it.

Vacation was fun and I had a vacation from worrying about what I'm eating. It's been hard to get back on track. The other day was a particularly bad day. By the end of the day I felt like I had been so out of control it really scared me. I determined the next day would be better.

By 1:00 p.m the next day. I still hadn't allowed myself to eat anything because I didn't trust myself to make good choices. I decided that was stupid and had a protein shake to start my day of eating off. I actually did really well. The next day was also much better.

One of the things I did to help myself get back on track was to go back and re-read my entire blog from the beginning. I was reminded of my mindset from all those months ago. I really needed a readjustment back to focusing on making choices because they are healthy instead of making choices because they fit a certain plan or program. (I'm referring to the Health and Wellness Challenge I did for 12 weeks that ended just prior to my last vacation.)

During the challenge, I found myself working around the rules and eating things that weren't necessarily healthy, but still qualified for the rules of the program. For example: No Sugar Added ice cream fit the bill of No Sugar, but it was certainly not a healthy food to be consuming because it still had a lot of fat and calories. So I began seeking out treats that would qualify within the guidelines of the challenge.

Well, once the challenge ended, I was free to seek out treats that were no longer forbidden. Add that freedom to vacation and it quickly became a problem. It just became a constant mindset of "What treat can I have next? " I was always seeking out what there was yummy to eat next. Totally pre-band mentality. I cannot go there again and continue or even maintain losing weight.

So the scale reflected all of this struggle. The morning after my particularly bad day my weight was up several pounds. I didn't even want to know, but not knowing was scarier to me. So after 2 days of better eating, I'm back down a few of those, but still not back to my lowest, or even my lower numbers. I'm going to give myself a week and then I'll readjust my ticker to where I really am.

I really tend to avoid posting when I am struggling, but I don't want to give a false impression that things are always easy and that there aren't still obstacles and struggles. There are. I just need to remember that I'm in this battle for life.

Early on in my blogging, I said "In this weight loss marathon, I still need to keep jogging, not slow down for a walk, or even sit to rest." I found those words very profound the other day when I read them. What I've done recently is slow down to a walk and even sat down to rest for a while--even taking a few steps backwards. I need to move forward and that is what I am doing and plan on continuing to do.

Facing the Music

Hello again.
The last few weeks have been a vacation of sorts. A vacation from regular life and a vacation from worrying about what I'm eating.

Luckily my weight hasn't suffered much. I would like to get back on track, though.

I did win 3rd place in the Health Challenge. :) The sloppy eating came after that was over.

I went for a walk today. I walked a mile to the high school track, ran one mile on the track and walked the mile back home. Felt pretty good. I didn't exercise much last week, so I've got to get back in the habit.

School starts next week so that will help our daily routine to be more consistent.

:)

I haven't felt like posting about my weight lately because it keeps going up and down. I'll see a low number, then I'll have my free day and my weight goes up 2, 3, 4 pounds. It's crazy-making. I know, it seems obvious, stop having free days! :) I'm working on it.

Anyway, this morning my weight was 188. I'm really happy with that number. Now if I can just keep it there, that'll be great.

I might go to the pool with my family this afternoon. Me in a swimsuit is an interesting thing. I'm not as embarrassed as I used to be, but there's still a lot of stuff I'd rather hide under clothing--baggy skin and cellulite on the legs, waggly arms, etc. But I try to just forget about it and enjoy a smaller, lighter body, even if I'm no swimsuit model.

Brad on a temple trip

Brad took an SUV load of branch members to the temple yesterday. He was gone pretty much all day long. It was a pretty big deal for our little branch. I think we had ten members there, though some drove themselves. Brad's vehicle had 6, I think.

It's been a good day.

(Oops, this was meant to be a post on my private journal blog. No reason to delete it, but just so you know! :) )

Ending a good week

I'm back from vacation and doing pretty good with my eating and exercising. I have had perfect points so far on my health challenge this week. It's much easier to do when you're back in your own world.

I have started adding protein shakes back into my diet. I used them a lot at first and tapered off, but I have felt like I need some more protein. My weight is down a couple of pounds today, so we'll see if that's why!

I also tried something new this week. I did interval training for my run. That entailed walking for three minutes, sprinting for one minute, walking one, sprinting one, until I couldn't do any more. It ended up being about 1.5 miles. The funny thing is, even though the amount of time I actually ran was much less than I usually do, my legs were very sore the following day. I also was extremely fatigued after the run. It felt good. It would be interesting to do that outside with a stopwatch. This was on the treadmill.

More reflections

I spent a little time this evening in my old neighborhood where I lived three years ago. It was very interesting to be there where I spent a lot of time gaining weight and being depressed. I am in such a different place now, and feel so much better.

I also met up with a couple of ladies from a lapband support message board. We all had surgery the same month. We're all at different places in our journey, but overwhelmingly I think we are all happy with our progress and happy with our bands.

37

I turned 37 today. I am so grateful for my life and my family. I am so loved and blessed. I am so grateful to have had my surgery and had so many changes in my life. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Going back

A friend once told me that you don't realize how much you've changed and grown until you go back home, or back to where you came from.

Yesterday we went to the St. Louis Arch for the fireworks display. This isn't the first time we've made that trek. It's usually about a 1/2 to 1 mile walk from wherever we have parked to get to the Arch. Doing that at over 300 pounds was really hard. It was usually very hot and humid and I dreaded that part of our adventure every year.

Well, yesterday was so amazing. We walked it and I don't even think I broke a sweat. It was almost effortless. I had run a 5 K that morning, shaving 4 minutes off my time from last fall. I just felt so amazing. I told my husband that I was so happy I wanted to cry. Things start to feel normal and then you do something like this and really realize how far you've come. I'm so blessed to be where I am right now.

Volleyball

We played volleyball tonight with my sister and her husband and some of their friends. It was very fun. I loved the freedom of being able to play without my body slowing me down. Well, my back did bug me a bit, but basically it was really great.

We ran three miles this morning as well. It was hard because there were hills and I'm not used to that, being from Kansas. It feels great to get so much physical activity in.

Beautiful evening walk

Tonight I went for a very nice walk in my sister's neighborhood. The weather was perfect. Not hot or cold. There were fireflies (aka lightening bugs) and bunnies hopping, and birds in the trees. It was just really pleasant. I walked over to the park where softball games were happening and made a loop around the fields. It's so nice to be able to be physically active. Every day I do some activity that I am very aware is much easier because I have less body mass. I am so grateful to be where I am.

Getting ready for our trip

We're heading to St. Louis to see my sister again. She and I are going to run a 5k together again. She did a half-marathon a few weeks ago, so she's progressed a whole lot from where we were last fall. It'll be fun to see her race. I will be happy to complete the race and I hope my time is better than I did last fall. I'm not stressed about it at all. I'm just glad my hip is doing fine and that I'm able to run these days.

I have high hopes that this will be a great and healthy vacation since we're both trying to focus on the health and wellness challenge. We should be able to support each other in our goals.

Well, I need to get packing. Hopefully I'll touch base while I'm there.

Social eating

I've become aware that I'm very much a social eater. After having surgery, it was somehow very important to me that I not appear to be eating way different than everyone else. I want people to see what I eat and realize that for the most part I eat fairly normally. I eat less than I once did, but not like a bird or a toddler.

One of the results of this tendency is to usually enjoy some dessert while at public events. It's just part of the atmosphere and part of the whole social thing, so I usually have some of whatever is being served for dessert.

Well today I challenged that. I went to my husband's work for a lunch-time barbecue and successfully didn't have any dessert or chips. I had a bratwurst without the bun and some salad. I hadn't completely made up my mind about whether or not to have any treats and I just found that I was able to not have any and be okay with that.

A year ago this wouldn't have been any big deal because I was going without junk much more consistently, but it has crept back into my life somewhat and so it is a battle I continue to wage.

Looks like I've still got it!

I just ran 3.1 miles on the treadmill at the gym. It's been a long time since I've done that much. It really feels good to accomplish that. Woo hoo.

Aaaah. Much better.

Today was a whole lot better. I didn't have any sweets, etc. I feel a lot better. I didn't drink as much water as I want to be drinking. I'll work on that tomorrow. Here's hoping for a great week.

Ugh

Yeah, Ugh. I did not eat well today. At all. Did get my fruits and veggies in and my water, along with the rest of the crap I ate. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day.

5K again

I think I'm going to run another 5K on the 4th of July. We're going to visit my sister and her family for a couple of weeks and we'll be in St. Louis during that time. I guess I should figure out how to get registered and get that done soon. I also need to get my distance back up to make sure I can to it with no problem. I ran today for about 2.25 miles. So I have some work to do.

New picture

Here's our family yesterday in our new living room.

Walking

I went for a nice walk today over to the Weather Service. It's only across a field from our house, but going there and back took me my whole 45 minutes. It was a beautiful day today--sunny, but not hot. Maybe I'll go running tomorrow. We'll have to see.

Finished off a great week.

I know on the calendar that Sunday is the first day of the week, but somehow it feels like the end of the week for me. This was a good week. I had a lot of good days. I'm feeling good about where I am food-wise and fitness-wise. I'm hoping to see more of the 180's this week.

Actual new post

So here's today's actual post:

For exercise today we walked to and from the library. I think it's about a mile one-way. Then we went to the swimming pool for two hours. So between all of that I think I got my required 45 minutes for the day. I'm exhausted tonight. Sleep is going to feel good.

Several posts in one

I kept journaling even when our internet connection was down, so here are some of the days:

June 2, 2009

I’m so excited! I saw 189 on the scale today after my workout. Eeek! I haven’t been this weight in at least 12 years. It really gives me hope that this process isn’t over.

June 3, 2009

Oh, wow. 187 this morning. This is awesome. I’m wondering if the increase in water intake is the reason for my sudden drop in weight. I’ve also had a lot of physical exertion with the move and everything. I’ve also stuck pretty good to my wellness challenge, so I know that’s helping. Losing weight is so motivating to want to continue making good choices so it will continue. Yay!

I ran at the GAC yesterday for the first time in a couple of weeks. It felt great. I think I need to keep doing that often.

June 4, 2009

Been doing great. Enjoying the new house. I had my free day today. Didn’t go totally crazy, but had more junk than I would like. I feel like crap after eating crap. Duh.

Had a hard workout tonight. For some reason I didn’t feel like I had much strength. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

Tired--good tired

I worked pretty much all day today packing and moving. I am amazed at the amount of energy, motivation and stamina that I have. It is truly a blessing to not be so overweight and having to rest often in order to keep going. I'm profoundly grateful for my new body and life.

Tomorrow is the big move day and then there's a lot of unpacking and Monday cleaning the house we're leaving. Lots of exercise, so that's good. :) Good night!

Goal met!

Not my ultimate goal, but a stop along the way. I have always wanted to weigh less than my husband and this morning I do! By two pounds, even! I told him he has to stay where he is so I can keep getting further away from his weight. Now I need to figure out what my next mini-goal should be. Probably seeing the 180s.

There it is again

I was right in my previous post. I am back down to 192 this morning. I was going to stop weighing myself every day, but I'm still doing it. It doesn't drive me crazy if the numbers are moving! :) I just needed to be patient and let my body do its thing.

Keeping busy moving stuff. Life is crazy right now.

Realization

I realized something this morning as I was thinking about my weight. The Friday before my free day last week I weighed 192. It was my lowest yet. Pretty exciting, right? Well, then I had my day- of-lots-of-eating and haven't ever seen it since. My lowest is 194 since then. I've been frustrated with myself because I feel like it's all my fault and I messed up that progress. While there is probably some truth to that, there's another factor that I had forgotten. The truth is, that is how I lose weight. I hang out at one weight for a while, then see a dip to a new low. The number almost always goes back up for a few days to even a week or two, and eventually I make it back down to that number and beyond. Eating aside, that's just how my body seems to do weight loss. So I patiently wait for those numbers to make another appearance.

This was a good week. I used my free points more wisely and didn't go completely overboard with them. I can't wait to see what this next week will bring.

Shirts

Brad was doing laundry and he mistakenly hung one of Rachel's (age 11) shirts in my closet. Twice. Talk about an ego boost!

I even borrowed a half slip from Rachel a couple of Sundays ago. It was pretty short, but fit around my waist without cutting off my circulation. (I think it was an adult size Small.)

We're having a garage sale tomorrow and the next week will be consumed with packing the house for our move (across town.) It's a lot of work, but it's good physical activity. I went running this morning anyway, though, just to feel like I'm getting official exercise in.

Dear Diary

I've got to keep up with my journal entry point for the day, so here I am. :)

Things are busy, but going well. I went running this morning. I haven't been in a while, so it was good to get out and run. I went for two miles.

The challenge is great for keeping me focused and accountable. I also think I'm going to stop weighing every day. I'm seeing a lot of fluctuation, both up and down and it's driving me crazy. Once a week should be enough for now.

We have a garage sale on Saturday and we're moving across town the next Saturday, so I need to get busy!

Reflections on my weekend

Saturday we went to the park with the kids. I swung on one of the swings there at the park. My hips weren't entirely comfortable, but I totally fit. Then, I spent a good 15-20 minutes going up the stairs and down the slides. First it was with Adam, then eventually I was just following him around and going down because it was fun/to get my exercise in for the day. :)

I used Saturday as my free day and therefore didn't make myself follow the no sweets rule, or the no junk food rule. I'll tell you, I didn't feel good at the end of the day and I felt even worse this morning when the scale read the same thing it did last Monday, the first day of the challenge! Ick. We'll have to see what tomorrow brings. I know there are diets out there that allow and encourage one day a week off, but if I'm going to do that, I need to not pig out so much. Oink, oink.

Day 4

Still plugging along, making good choices. It's funny, but having made the commitment to this challenge has really changed my behavior. I still have to try hard, but it's really helping. Pounds are coming off, too. 192 this morning! Brad weighed this morning and we were exactly the same. My next goal was to weigh less than him. So close I can taste it!

Tomorrow is going to be my free day. I am going to use my free points for everything except exercise and fruits and veggies. We have several graduation parties to attend, so I want to be able to enjoy the food there.

Dog tired!

I've worked hard all day long today and I'm so ready to hit the sack! I've been doing really well with my eating. I'll be surprised if my weight doesn't drop significantly with this fitness challenge. I hope so!

I redid the walk I hated so much last week today. I had a friend with me, so that was much more fun. It wasn't nearly as bad. My back still hurt, just not as much and it wasn't cold. I haven't run in a while, I hope to get that in tomorrow. Good night!

I'm really liking this

I woke up early today and got part of my exercise done, read my scriptures and am ready to face the day. I really like this feeling.

When I'm not paying attention to what I'm doing with my time, I just end up not doing important things, like scriptures and journal and even sometimes exercise. With something like this challenge to keep me focused on what I want to be doing, I feel so much more centered and peaceful.

This morning Rachel came upstairs and found me sitting in the recliner, just finishing up with reading my scriptures with the back door open. You could hear the birds chirping and the misty morning air was invigorating. She sat down and we talked for a couple of minutes. Then she said, "It feels like something special is supposed to happen today." I know what she means. It just feels different to have enough sleep and to deliberately start your day off right.

Here's hoping the rest of the day follows this great morning.

One day down, lots to go!

I completed the first day of my challenge. I think I'm going to have a perfect 10 point day. It is definitely taking some work of the mind to make sure I'm following my plan. I still need to read in my scriptures and get to bed on time.

I am super busy right now with moving and garage sale preparations. We are moving in about 3 weeks and only have a little bit packed so far. Lots of work and physical activity!

I did a full T-tapp workout today. Felt good.

Sometimes exercise sucks

Yesterday I went for a walk. I walked close to three miles. It was awful. I hated the last half of that walk with a passion. First of all, it was much colder than I realized when I left the house and instead of going back and getting a jacket, I just went ahead and walked. I figured I'd warm up and be fine. Well, the wind had other ideas. Brrr.

On the way back from my turn-around point I was so cold and my back was killing me. I stopped several times to stretch my back out. At one point I even found some grass to lie down on to make my back feel better. It helped. But man, I think that walk was harder than most of my runs--including the longer ones.

Don't know why that is, but sometimes exercise is just harder. Yesterday was one of those days.

Feeling good

I'm feeling good lately. Not frantic, but just settling into life and for the most part making good choices. My weight has continued to go down bit by bit. I've been at 194 this week.

Next Monday I will start a healthy habits challenge that my sister invited me to do. (It's open to anyone, so holler if you're interested. If you want to be part of the official group, you have to sign up by the 9th.) I'll cut and paste the email I got about it:

Healthy Habits & Wellness Challenge 2009

This is a 12 week Challenge beginning May 11th and ending August 3rd 2009!

DEADLINE - We start this challenge on May 11th - You must be signed up and paid by May 9th @ 12 midnight to participate!


Daily Habits
Each item is worth 1 point, with a possible 10 points per day

1 7 hours of sleep
2 48 oz. water
3 45 minutes of exercise (not necessarily consecutive)
4 2 servings of veggies, 2 servings of fruit
5 No soda, beer, wine, unhealthy snacks, or bad fast food [anything FRIED]
6 No sweets [desserts, pastries and sugary snacks & cereals] * sugar-free alternatives are ok
7 No eating after dinner/8pm
8 15 minutes of scripture reading (or other spiritual text if you don't do scripture)
9 One journal entry (any length)
10 Express sincere appreciation or praise to your spouse (if single, to another person)


Note: You have one free point per category per week. (You may not use a sugar point to have a soda if you have already had soda on a free point. You may also not use an unused journal entry point to skip your exercise. Points are category specific - free points too!)

Exceptions
You are excused from the sweet rule on YOUR BIRTHDAY.
You are allowed three sick days where you are excused from exercising and eating veg/fruit/water [if you can't eat/drink] This is ONLY to be used if you are indeed sick.


PAY to PLAY

This challenge costs $20.00. All paid participants are qualified to win. You must pay to have the ability to win a portion of the kitty. The money is directly paid to a designated PayPal account that is not accessed until the winnings are divided and delivered at the end of the challenge. The more participants the Better! With more of us pulling together the more support we can get and give! So invite your family, friends, and neighbors to join us in this Wellness Challenge and let’s GO! (Simply forward this email to family or friends to invite them!)


Scoring
All scoring is "on your honor." Please update the shared Google spreadsheet each day, or week with your points. I will send you this after you have paid.
There are two categories of winners:

The 3 Challengers with the most points will equally divide 80% of the cash in the Challenge Fund. For example, if there is $500 in the kitty, $400 will be allocated amongst the three players with the most points.

2. All participants with more than 505 points, or 60% of the available points. Because the Wellness Challenge is partly about getting the most points, but mostly about process, any person who gets an average of 6 points or better per day, will have won, and will be eligible for a random giveaway which will be funded by the remaining 20% in the Challenge Fund.


I love this challenge because EVERY person has the ability to get 10 points daily and there are more things to "DO" and not just "DON'T".

The clock is ticking - invite your family and friends and sign-up today!

This is going to be Great!

(end of email)

I'm excited to do this because it will help me focus on some habits I haven't been doing so great on. Yay!

Because one of the items on this list is journal entry, I'll be updating my blog more often. See you soon!

Progress

My weight was down two pounds this morning. It's still coming back down to where I had been, but down is good.

Weekend

We had a good weekend. We went as a family on Saturday to the gym so we could all exercise. My back had been hurting, so I wasn't planning on running. We decided to play basketball as a family. We did a couple of dribbling drills down the court, then a race to make a basket in all of the 6 hoops. I ran a couple of races against my kids. I actually worked up a pretty good sweat. Some teenaged guys came in so we had to only use half of the court which slowed us down fitness-wise a bit, but we had a good time.

Then, while I was waiting for my husband and daughter to finish their game of pool, I decided to go walk on the treadmill. Of course I couldn't help myself and ended up running anyway. I went about a mile. At the end I of my workout I like to push it as fast as I'm comfortable. For the first time I pushed it up to 8.0 mph. That was fast and fun!

It was a good family workout and I love getting my family involved in fitness. They love it too.

Ick and Wow!

I changed my ticker--up. I hate having to do that, but I'm trying to keep it real.

Something weird is going on lately with my eyesight. My right eye is suddenly seeing a lot better than normal. I can actually read things at a distance of five feet or so without my glasses on. That's crazy for me. I am really blind without my glasses normally and usually can't even tell there are words, let alone read them.

I remember reading one time about a woman who's doctor told her that losing weight can improve your eyesight. Something to do with the fat deposits behind your eyes. I don't know. I can't find any info to back that up, but it is a little weird. Cool, but weird. Good thing I am supposed to go in for an eye exam in a few weeks anyway. My contacts are now a bit off--prescription-wise.

I've been running 2 miles as many days a week as I can. Shooting for 6, but last week was only 4. I went yesterday and had to slow to a power walk when my hip began to hurt. That's the first time in a long time that it has bothered me. It wasn't anything major and it doesn't hurt today, but I didn't want to take a chance.

Stuff

I've been doing great on my running. I rested yesterday, but basically I've been running 2 miles every day. Tonight Brad came and did his own run on a treadmill. I like watching him run. Hubba hubba!

My weight is going up a bit (3-4 pounds). I don't have any good explanation for why. I'm trying to be more careful in my food choices. I know I can do better, though. I think this battle will be a life-long one.

Three days in a row

I have run two miles every day for three days in a row and I think I'll be able to do it tomorrow as well. It is still a challenge and I still have to talk myself out of quitting a couple of times during the run. But it's not killing me and my hip is still doing fine. Maybe this will help move my weight down the scale a bit faster.

Hello!

It's certainly been a while since I last posted. Nothing much has changed this month. My weight isn't going up or down, just bouncing around the same five pound range. Today it's at the lower end, so that's good.

I've been frustrated with the stand-still. I have tried on some pants at the store, only to realize I'm not quite as small as I had thought. :( I was also dismayed to find that the capris I wore last year still fit me somewhat. What? I had hoped they'd be falling off me. At least I have a couple of pairs of capris to wear.

So I am trying to be happy with where I am at and trying to continue moving forward. I haven't been exercising as much as I had been which makes me frustrated with myself. Some weeks I'm only getting three days of exercise done when really I need to be doing 5-6 days.

Part of the problem is my hip. Although it hasn't bothered me in a few weeks, it has really slowed me down as far as what I am pushing myself to do. I am still running (just did 2 miles this morning) but not really increasing what I've been doing. I think for a while I'm going to try to do some running every day instead of three longer runs in the week. We'll see how that goes.

I will try to post something on my blog at least once a week. I need to keep myself accountable and on track and this helps a lot.

Woo Hoo! I'm overweight!

I weighed in at 196 this morning, which puts me at a bmi of 29.8 which is out of the obese range and merely overweight. :)

I have 32 pounds to go before I'm in the normal weight range.

These numbers are all a little silly because they aren't the ultimate authority on how much I should weigh, but it is nice to have some gauge to sort of go by.

The fight against self-doubt and complacency

I've reached an interesting place in this journey. Things have slowed down weight-loss wise and I'm settling in to my new life and my new body. I struggle from day to day with believing in myself and believing in this process. Weight loss isn’t predictable the way my body does it and I still worry sometimes that I’m doing it wrong. Realistically I think, how can I be doing it wrong, when I've been so amazingly successful? But on the other hand, when the scale is jumping around and the only reason seems to be what I have or haven't done food and exercise-wise, I do begin to doubt that I have a good handle on how to do this.

One thing that I could easily see happening, (but that I'm determined not to let happen) is for me to become satisfied with where I am and stop trying as hard to get this last bit of weight off. I'm wearing a size 14 pants right now. I don't remember the last time I wore a size 14. I think it was in high school. I've lost over 100 pounds and I'm feeling pretty good. But I still have a ways to go and I don't want to just be satisfied with coming this far and not finish what I started. It certainly isn't that I'm not happy with myself and my body--I am. Maybe that's why I worry about this complacency setting in, because I would most certainly feel successful even if this is the end of the journey(which it isn't).

Maybe another thing affecting me is that I can't really picture myself any smaller than I am now. I just haven't ever been within reach of being a size 12, 10 or even smaller. So that self-doubt innocently takes root and could be affecting me in my actions and efforts.

My current eating habits are leaps and bounds above my previous eating habits, but they aren’t perfect and I know there are some improvements I could make if I was motivated enough. This way of eating has served me well enough this far, I keep worrying that it has stopped working and that I’m going to have to give up any food that isn’t perfectly healthy in order to keep going. It’s this fine line I try to walk between feeling like I’m on a diet and deprived, verses eating in a manner that leaves me satisfied and will serve me for the rest of my life. I just don’t trust myself to know where to stop as far as how much I can include before I’m including too much less healthy stuff to lose weight anymore.

I acknowledge that I will probably never be free of the struggle over food. That's okay because I have the tools to beat it.

Head shot comparison

Running again

I haven't posted much about my exercise or my eating or my weight loss because not much has changed on those fronts. I've taken a break from running to let my hip heal. I hadn't run since last Wednesday when I went running today (Saturday). After a week and a half off, I was surprised that I was able to run just fine and completed a two-mile run without any trouble. I'm reading the book Chi Running and hope to incorporate some of his techniques soon. I think that will help with injuries or rather help me not become injured.

One Year--Reflections

I’m finally getting around to writing my review of this last year. My anniversary, or bandiversary as some like to call it was last Sunday, almost a week ago. I have had a lot of thoughts about writing this, but for some reason haven’t felt ready to write it. I think in part because it’s such a personal thing for me, and such a huge thing, that it’s hard to put into words what a difference this year has made in my life. How can words do any justice to how grateful I am and how different I feel? However, I have to try, because I want to share this.

One year ago I was so scared. I was having a life-changing surgery. Firstly I was scared of dying in surgery. I cried and told my husband that if “something happened” I was sorry and that I never meant for that to happen. Thankfully the surgery went off without a hitch. Secondly, I was scared of not succeeding. I was scared of not being able to stick to the new lifestyle and scared of failing.

I started keeping a blog mainly to see for myself any progress I was making. I wanted to share it with my family and very close friends to begin with, but nobody else for a while. As I started really seeing success and seeing that success continue I felt more and more confident and increasingly strong. Before too long I was ready to share my blog publicly. I was (and still am) amazed at the response I get from those who read. I’ve had so many kind and supportive comments as well as people who find my journey inspiring for their own lives. I had never anticipated that and I’m thrilled that my struggles have in any way been able to benefit others.

Now, a year later, I’m 103 pounds lighter. All within 12 months, I’ve seen my weight be in the 300s, 200s and now the top of the 100s. How cool is that? I’ve gone from wearing a 30/32 to almost being able to wear a size 14. I’m more comfortable in a 16 still, but things are a little loose. I’m so happy with my looks right now. I don’t mind having my picture taken and being seen by people I haven’t seen in a while. It’s actually really fun!

I have become a strong and dare I say, athletic person, which is a surprise to me. I have become a runner, even running 6 miles at my longest distance so far. This is incredible to me. I’m working out some hip problems right now, but even today I was able to run 2 miles on the treadmill without it being a huge deal. This is amazing! I will continue to pursue this running journey, because it is so empowering.

I have regained so much of the confidence and exuberance that had been buried underneath all that weight for so many years. I no longer dread going to social gatherings, or running into people. I’m just so happy with where I am.

Doing things is easier, period. Kneeling on the floor, getting in and out of the car, shopping, walking, standing, bending, all of it is so much easier without that extra 100 pounds weighing me down.

I have a little ways left before I’m finished with the weight-loss part of this remaking of myself. I know I can do it and I’m not scared that I am not going to be able to keep the weight off. I have used this Lapband as a tool, not a magic fix. I have worked hard, using the tool to make the work easier, but I have worked very hard. Because of that, I know that I will continue to work hard and take my health and the state of my fitness seriously. It’s not something that will take care of itself. It will be something I have to be vigilant about for the rest of my life, which thanks to this journey will be healthier and longer. I am so blessed. I am so thankful.

Exercise

So I decided not to do any running on my hip until it feels much better. I went walking on Monday instead of running. I walked two miles on the treadmill and then did 2 miles on a stationary bike. That wasn't very hard, but really I was just killing time until my daughter was done with her basketball class.

I've been wanting to write a big post about my one-year-anniversary which was this last Sunday but I haven't done it yet. I am so grateful for the changes that this year has brought and I honestly feel like a different person in many ways. Hopefully I can get my thoughts down into words in the next little while.

With two days to spare. . .

. . .I saw 199 on the scale this morning! Onederland! I guess all I needed to do was make a whiny post about how I wasn't losing weight. (Oh, and get a fill.) It may not stick, like my weight usually does, go back up before coming back down, but my goal was to see that number by the year mark and that is this Sunday. I can hardly believe it. :)

I went on Wednesday to get my band adjustment, or fill. He added .3 ccs to my band bringing my total fluid to 6.8, I think. I can tell a difference even on the "straw" diet I'm on. (Anything that can fit through a straw is okay, though I am not supposed to actually use a straw.) It has been taking me a while to even drink water, or Pero, so I know I have more restriction. The big test will be this afternoon when I start adding back in some regular foods. I plan on going slow, though because I don't want to get anything stuck!

My appointment with Dr. Metz was great. He was much more impressed with my weight loss than I had been feeling. He said I'd lost an average of a pound a week since seeing him last. That's definitely an average, because I've been stuck at the same weight for many weeks, so I guess I had a few bigger drops in there that I'm forgetting. Anyway, he was very positive about my progress. He also told me that maybe another 20 pounds and I would be a good healthy weight. I've been planning on another 40 according to the healthy weight charts. He didn't seem to agree with those for ultimate goal planning. We'll have to see how I'm looking and feeling in a few pounds and maybe I'll alter my goal then. What I would really like is to have a size goal and not worry about the numbers, just what size I end up being. I would be happy with a 12, and thrilled with being a size 10.

My hip has been bothering me after running. I saw the chiropractor yesterday and he's going to have me go get some x-rays done of it to make sure that there's nothing "pathologically" wrong with it. I think it has to be pretty severely deteriorated to show up on an x-ray, so I'm not thinking he's going to find anything, but we'll see. He wants me to reduce to 70% of the running I'm doing. So instead of 6 miles on Saturday I should run 4.2. I know my hip will still hurt after that distance, but he told me to ice it, so we'll see if that helps.

So I'm feeling happy today and hopeful that I can finish this journey.

How can I not be losing weight?

I'm baffled. I fasted half the day yesterday and ran 6 miles on Saturday and my weight is up a pound this morning instead of down. I'm tired of sitting at this same weight. I'm ready to see some new (lower) numbers. Argh. That is all.

6 miles

I did my long run outside yesterday and it was for 6 miles. I did it. I ran every step of those 6 miles. There is a point (one telephone pole past the yield sign) that is 1 mile away from the entrance to our street, so I ran down and back three times, making 6 miles. It took me about 80 minutes. Whew.

I was really sore afterward yesterday, but today isn't too bad. I did get a blister on my foot, not surprisingly. I would like to order some better running socks online sometime soon.

This week will mark one year from my surgery. Over at lapbandtalk.com we call that your bandiversary. I was hoping to be under 200 by then, but I'm still a few pounds away. I will be getting a fill this week so that may help, but either way, I'm happy with where I am and confident that my weight will continue to go down as long as I'm doing the right things. Plateaus happen and life goes on.

5 miles, Baby!

I ran 5 miles on the treadmill today. It took me over an hour. I don't know my exact time because I had to reset the machine a couple of times. It was 67 minutes or so, I think. Anyway, totally crazy, but I did it! I feel good and sore.

Checking in

Not a whole lot happening here on the weight loss front. I'm not losing much, not gaining, just kind of hanging out here at my 100 pound mark. I think I'm going to get a fill in February. I still have times when I'm pretty tight, but I also have a lot more hunger than I'd like, so hopefully a fill can help me with that.

I'm doing great with my running. I'm going to run 5 miles tomorrow which will be huge for me. It will have to be on the treadmill since the weather turned very cold today.

Hope everyone else is doing great.

Great article

I just read this article and really appreciated the sound advice.

Collar Bones

Okay, so I was looking at this month's progress picture compared to the last one I took and wanted to show you the difference in my collar bones. I think it's quite noticeable. The one on the left is in October, the right on January. I think my face looks different too. There's about a ten pound difference between the two. (Yes, my weight loss has slowed down quite a bit.)



And just to remind us all of where I came from, where the differences aren't as subtle:
February 2008 and January 2009 with 100 pounds lost. I look like someone pumped me up with a bicycle tire pump or something. I don't ever want to see that woman in the mirror again--and I won't!

Progress Pictures Finally!

I haven't taken official progress pictures in a couple of months because we've been busy and frankly, I haven't seen a ton of difference. So here are the latest of me in regular clothes. I will add the ones in my official before clothes to the slideshows at the right. Enjoy!



I think my pinky might be sticking out in the side shot! Silly habit.

Hey, remember me? I'm your band.

Sometimes my band really reminds me that it's there. Yesterday at lunch I either at too fast, too much, or didn't chew properly, but the chicken breast I was eating came back up. I haven't had that happen since last spring sometime. I'm grateful that it doesn't happen more often. I try to be careful, but I'm not always as careful as I should be and things do get stuck. It usually passes after a few uncomfortable minutes. I haven't had my food come back up in what bandsters call a productive burp very often at all. I don't know why they call it a burp because it's certainly a lot more than a burp to me. It feels like vomiting, though a bit less strain on my body.

Anyway, after the chicken incident, I consumed only liquids or soft foods the rest of the night. Even though I prefer not to do that, it is a nice little reminder that the band is there and this is serious stuff.

I don't know that I ever reported on the holidays. I was back to my pre-Christmas weight pretty much within a couple of days after New Year's. I did enjoy myself and indulge in things I don't normally eat, so I'm happy with the results. I'm only one pound away from my all-time low of 203 and that 100 pounds lost mark again. (On the up side, unfortunately.) That's how weight loss happens for me normally, a jump down, then back up and then slowly back down. Even without the holidays, so I was expecting it.

Lenthening my stride and squaring my shoulders

Literally.
I've decided to train for a half-marathon along with some friends and my sister. I'm a little nervous about whether or not I can actually do it, but I'm going to try. The training schedule I'm using actually has me running just 2 mile runs for a couple of weeks before increasing. I'm fine with that at this point.

I've realized/decided/had it pointed out to me that my posture has become a real problem. I knew it was bad and hated seeing myself in profile pictures. I just chalked it up to being able to actually see my spine again since I had posture troubles before I got heavy. That is true to an extent, but the chiropractor told me when he saw me last week that my posture is significantly worse than it was 6 weeks ago when he saw me. I find that alarming. So, I'm doing some research into what I can do to correct my bad posture, and the hump in my upper back. I think running is making it worse, so as I'm running I'm trying to concentrate on better posture.

One thing I learned in my internet search yesterday is that making sure your head is above your spine is important. First and foremost your spine needs to be able to take the weight of your head, not have your shoulder muscles trying to hold it up as it is forward of your body. A head is really heavy, so I totally get that concept. So this is my next quest. . to have better posture and less back pain.