One Year--Reflections

I’m finally getting around to writing my review of this last year. My anniversary, or bandiversary as some like to call it was last Sunday, almost a week ago. I have had a lot of thoughts about writing this, but for some reason haven’t felt ready to write it. I think in part because it’s such a personal thing for me, and such a huge thing, that it’s hard to put into words what a difference this year has made in my life. How can words do any justice to how grateful I am and how different I feel? However, I have to try, because I want to share this.

One year ago I was so scared. I was having a life-changing surgery. Firstly I was scared of dying in surgery. I cried and told my husband that if “something happened” I was sorry and that I never meant for that to happen. Thankfully the surgery went off without a hitch. Secondly, I was scared of not succeeding. I was scared of not being able to stick to the new lifestyle and scared of failing.

I started keeping a blog mainly to see for myself any progress I was making. I wanted to share it with my family and very close friends to begin with, but nobody else for a while. As I started really seeing success and seeing that success continue I felt more and more confident and increasingly strong. Before too long I was ready to share my blog publicly. I was (and still am) amazed at the response I get from those who read. I’ve had so many kind and supportive comments as well as people who find my journey inspiring for their own lives. I had never anticipated that and I’m thrilled that my struggles have in any way been able to benefit others.

Now, a year later, I’m 103 pounds lighter. All within 12 months, I’ve seen my weight be in the 300s, 200s and now the top of the 100s. How cool is that? I’ve gone from wearing a 30/32 to almost being able to wear a size 14. I’m more comfortable in a 16 still, but things are a little loose. I’m so happy with my looks right now. I don’t mind having my picture taken and being seen by people I haven’t seen in a while. It’s actually really fun!

I have become a strong and dare I say, athletic person, which is a surprise to me. I have become a runner, even running 6 miles at my longest distance so far. This is incredible to me. I’m working out some hip problems right now, but even today I was able to run 2 miles on the treadmill without it being a huge deal. This is amazing! I will continue to pursue this running journey, because it is so empowering.

I have regained so much of the confidence and exuberance that had been buried underneath all that weight for so many years. I no longer dread going to social gatherings, or running into people. I’m just so happy with where I am.

Doing things is easier, period. Kneeling on the floor, getting in and out of the car, shopping, walking, standing, bending, all of it is so much easier without that extra 100 pounds weighing me down.

I have a little ways left before I’m finished with the weight-loss part of this remaking of myself. I know I can do it and I’m not scared that I am not going to be able to keep the weight off. I have used this Lapband as a tool, not a magic fix. I have worked hard, using the tool to make the work easier, but I have worked very hard. Because of that, I know that I will continue to work hard and take my health and the state of my fitness seriously. It’s not something that will take care of itself. It will be something I have to be vigilant about for the rest of my life, which thanks to this journey will be healthier and longer. I am so blessed. I am so thankful.