I'm breaking up with my scale

Well, cutting back on how often we see each other anyway. I'm going to have to cut down to once a week because the number game is starting to mess with my mind.

I've been enjoying my pants being baggier, my daughter, Hannah being able to get her arms further around me than ever before, feeling new muscle definition and feeling great about my physical strength more so than ever before. Then I step on the scale and today I'm back to that blasted 222 mark and I feel deflated. Why? It's just numbers. I am seeing progress in my body, so why do the dang numbers matter?

So I asked Brad to hide the scale and bring it out only on Tuesdays. That's my official weekly weigh day, so I'll just stick to that day for weighing.

I've always said that if it starts messing with my mind, I'd cut back. Well, I'm there. My scale and I may be able to resume a more serious relationship in the future, but he's going to have to start showing me that he can change before that happens. :)

I had two people independently call me "The Incredible Shrinking Woman" today at church. One hadn't seen me in months and the other one had been a few weeks, I think. The one who hadn't seen me in months said she hadn't even recognized me at first. :) That's fun.

So for now, I will continue exercising and eating well, but not obsess about the numbers on the scale. On the 5th we'll take progress pictures and measurements and that will be a good indicator of whether or not things are moving along as well.

Good to be back to regular eating

I ate my normal way again today. It was good to get back to how things are supposed to be. Also, I was still at 219 today, so maybe that weight loss will stick and even continue! Here's hoping.

Various pics

My girls and me at the county fair. I felt so much more alive this year than last year. I enjoyed a few rides and just had a great time.



Brad and I dressed up for a baptism yesterday.



I did my hair differently for a change yesterday. I included this picture so you can notice the pants bagging a bit. These are the ones that were recently still snug. :)

Explanation needed

I just realized I posted that whole thing about eating crappier and didn't explain why I'm doing it. I thought maybe I had already explained it on the blog, but looking back it looks like I didn't, at least not in the last few days.

It's a common theme that people find one way to break a plateau is to eat higher calories for a couple of days, over a weekend or something, and then back to regular eating on day three. Something about revving up your metabolism or something consistently seems to help. I figured why not give it a try after a month of plateau.

So that's what this is all about, me upping calories for a couple of days in order to break this plateau. Let's hope it's wildly successful. :)

Interesting

I ate out for two meals yesterday, so toward the end of the day I figured I'd make that day one of crappier eating, hoping to break my plateau.

So, before grocery shopping, I stopped at Dairy Queen and got a small Blizzard (ice cream). It was the first time since my surgery that I've done so. I honestly didn't want anyone to see me eating it. I thought, "This is just not representative of me and how I eat, I don't want someone to judge me on this one snapshot of me." I live in a small town and lots of people are aware of my surgery, etc. So I sat in my car and ate it.

It was yummy for the first 1/3 of it. By about 1/2 way I wished I was home so I could stick it in the freezer for later or pass it off to my husband. I wasn't able to finish it and ended up throwing the last bit away. I felt like crap after eating it. I had to walk around Wal-mart feeling like that. I wondered if I always felt like that pre-band, because I ate like that often. I also started getting gassy, which I used to be all the time, pre-band, but haven't been nearly as much since being banded.

As I wandered the isles at the store, I tried to pick out some high calorie treats to eat today. I was just not that interested, especially since I had just done so and now wasn't liking the feeling. I did manage to find a few things, but overall I was so pleased that I couldn't bring myself to go all out. I honestly want to eat the healthier things, not just because I'm supposed to. That felt so good to me.

I'm 219 today. I haven't seen that weight yet before today. I'm waiting to celebrate too hard, though, to see if it's for real. If it sticks and/or continues to go down, then I'll be very excited.

I do think that my measurements are continuing to get smaller because I noticed yesterday that a pair of pants that has been snug on me were sliding down a bit. I've also noticed certain parts of me looking smaller, like my forearms and my shoulders looking a bit more narrow. I am feeling good about myself and I'm happy that I seem to be getting through this plateau thing without getting too discouraged.

The P word

The dreaded Plateau! I am ready to admit that I have hit one. A serious one. I hit 222 pounds on August 3rd and am stuck there still. I've had some fluctuations of a pound or two up and down, but I've pretty much stayed right around 222 since then. Maybe my body just likes the nice even number that 222 is. It's easy to type, don't even have to look. Just 222. Unfortunately, I'd like to never see it on my scale again!

It's not uncommon for people to hit plateaus when losing weight. Among banded people it seems to hit at about 6 months out. That would be just right for this plateau. I just have to figure out what to do with it. Do I just shrug and not worry about it and keep doing what I should be doing with eating and exercise? Do I re-evaluate what I am doing and check to see if it needs changing? I think my answer for now is to go read the message boards and pay close attention to talk about plateaus and how they ended up being broken. I'll let you know what I learn.

Bumps and sizes

I was looking at my upper arm and wondering what that bump was. Guess what? It's a muscle! I'm getting some definition in my arms. I think it's the tricep muscle. How cool is that? I honestly don't remember seeing a physical difference in my body from exercising before. Ever. This is very motivating and I don't feel like yelling at Teresa on my T-tapp video as much anymore. She's helping me get fit, and I'm so glad.

My wedding dress (in 1996) was rented, so I don't have that anymore. I do have the dress I wore for our wedding luncheon right after the temple ceremony. I tried it on to see how much further I have to go before I could wear it. It fit! I couldn't believe it. It's a size 14. I fit into a size 14! It was still significantly tighter than when I wore it before, but it fits and buttons up and everything.

As exciting as it was, it left me a little weirded out. What size am I? I am still wearing a size 20 pair of jeans, my tops are about a 16, while 16 jeans are too small still, I could probably wear most 18s. I just am not really sure where I fit in the clothing size world. Those numbers don't matter, really, but it is a part of my identity a little, to know what size I am. Oh well. It's a fun development, anyway.

I'm still as committed as ever to doing my exercise. I need to start by getting to bed early so I can get up early enough to do the workout before Brad leaves for work. Tomorrow that's 5:40 a.m. That's when he leaves! So I need to get some good sleep and get up early enough.